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Post by Unknown Cheesie on Jun 3, 2006 15:59:46 GMT -5
I had my first post today (in Tavern) and I was wondering whether it was ok and what I need to fix and all that fun stuff.
1. Was it to much power playing? 2. Were there any typo's? (Greatsword is one word, right?) 3. Did I say "Raziel" to much?
btw: Sadina, did you see the "Disable Smilies: If this box is checked, smiley emoticons will be disabled in your post." box in the post screen? That might help with!!!
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Post by Mistress of Angst on Jun 4, 2006 1:39:28 GMT -5
Not bad, boy. Not bad.
Aside from a few non-existent commas, maybe an unused paragraph break or two, and a sentence fragment, it was really good. ^__^ I commend thee.
Powerplaying = No, you were fine there.
Typos = Didn't really see any, but it's late, so don't quote me on that.
Raziel = Aside from that sounding really familiar, you might have referred to him by his name one too many times. Usually, it's a bit nicer to throw in "the swordsman" or "ebony-haired man" or something. >_< It's not a must--it sounds okay using his name, but throwing in something different usually helps it to sound not quite as redundant.
Soo... umm... there. There it is. My advice. It's not law or anything, nor personal. Just what I noticed. *shrug* Take it or leave it.
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Post by Unknown Cheesie on Jun 4, 2006 18:35:48 GMT -5
Thank you! You people's have trained me well apparently. Oh, and on the "Raziel" I got it off of a roleplaying site. battlemaster.org/logout.phpIt's cool, It's like being an actual troop leader. Unlike most RP online games, you don't see your character move around or anything, you just click on the map and you travel. You communicate to others with letters, orders, reports, requests, OOC, and roleplays. If you want to, at least check it out. The above /\ was an unpaid advertisement.
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Post by Sadina Saphrite on Jun 4, 2006 21:03:37 GMT -5
I don't believe it. I think you're getting rewarded somehow.
My little two cents is to watch how you use "to" and "too." Don't mix the two up.
...
Too many to's...
And thanks for the smiley comment. I'm still used to ezboard and my excessive use of cool emoticons. Ah, well.
EDIT: Oh, and watch you captitalization. Don't slack off on it! That's a personal pet peeve.
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